Tag Archives: evolution

On Dying

Today I am energetically trying to help a friend who is grieving his friend who is getting ready for his “transition” to another realm.  I have seen and experienced many deaths beginning with my own brother’s many years ago and followed by numerous patients and friends.  Not one has been easy.

Yet, what has become “easier” over time for me has been the acceptance of death.  I have always felt that when a person’s work in this life is done, their time comes to leave us. The un-ease for me has always been seeing/feeling/sensing the pain or struggle that can happen in this time.  More often I am even more aware of the pain and struggle of the survivors of the recently (or soon-to-be) departed.  I truly believe that is the area that needs more attention.

For myself, I know that I wished each person I have lost to death had more time. Why?  For young people I have always felt they were not able to “truly” live their lives because there were not enough years for them to do so.  Yet each young person I have seen pass I feel has lived longer that many people even twice their age… and they have left a legacy so strong that their thoughts, words and actions are so evidently living through everyone that they touched.  For older people who pass (even the oldest at 98 years old) – I am more aware that even though they have lived incredibly full lives, it is ME wanting them to live longer because I cherish them.  And then I look at how beautiful it is that young or old, such a life is so valued by others that our own selfish desire of wanting them alive (even if they are struggling in some way) shows us how much they mean to us.  And I have never found it “easy” to let go of anyone I have known that is dying.

More recently, I am reminded more and more of what I have read, what Near-Death-Experiences have shown, and what I feel is true in my heart. That the person dying is moving into a beautiful realm of spiritual existence that is not observable to (most of) our human eyes.  Some people like psychics or mystics are able to see this realm.  I am able to read energy from this realm today too (not from seeing it but “hearing” it on some level).  I know that on a vibrational level, things that we finally see manifest (in these cases, in someone’s passing) – is already done.  Many people have noticed and experienced a loved one who is dying that is able to “wait” to see a favourite relative or meaningful relationship before they pass.  I believe that the time around death (could be days, weeks or months), dying people have some awareness of their limited time left on Earth, and are able to use some subconscious/unconscious energy to help them achieve, or see/feel something they truly desire before they pass.  I have known patients who were waiting for a son/daughter to visit from continents away who passed soon after the visit.

And I believe that the Higher Consciousness/God/Universe is involved in this too.  My current friend recently saw a cardinal arrive in his back yard.  I mentioned how this is often a sign/message from a loved one who is deceased and I have no doubt he was thinking about his current dying friend who was most on his mind although not yet deceased.  I held back from sharing the idea of energy moving faster that what we can perceive with our senses as I did not want to worry him further.  Yet I do believe it’s true.  I also believe in miracles so I do not like to give too much thought/energy into a direction that could miraculously turn around (after all, this is how near death experiences happen).  Yet this time, even though I do not know the friend who is passing, I sense that he is being prepared and readied for a beautiful adventure into that realm of existence where all is perfect, no worries exist, and joys unimaginable to our normal human minds will delight him.  How could anyone not welcome this true celebration of the life experience for those they love.  This does require some trust in the unknown and a faith that all religions/spiritual traditions often remind us about.  My instinct and experience fills my trust and faith in this daily and I hope that the energy I share in my desire to help those in such un-easy times of transition will lift them with the same certain energy that I feel in my heart.

If you are working through a recent (or past) loss due to death or the dying experience please know that there are wonders beyond our senses that far surpass the human experience on many levels. The pain of your loss in this time and beyond does benefit from healthy grieving processing too – of course I recommend Grief Recovery for anyone in this space. Take the time you need for your own healing and know that I am here to help if you ever need me.

Wishing you your own healing and transformation through this opportunity in your life. There is a blessing in this experience for you. Trust. Grieve. Heal.



416-920-8975; hanifahelps@gmail.com

Words Matter

As we move closer to the end of this unique school year that has been done for most students and teachers largely online, I am reminded about my own grade-schooling as well as my University and College experiences.

I was the “good” student. I loved learning, loved getting great marks and loved the awards of all kinds. From grades, pats on my back from teachers, meaningful messages written into my “autograph book” that I preferred to store such messages in rather than the simple signatures in yearbooks. And I had the rewards of loving care from my home because I was so “smart.”  I never considered myself smart. Unless I compared myself to my brother’s marks – he was the social personality and I was the academic! Oh yes, I then compared to other students too and judged how good I was based on that comparison and then by my accomplishments every step of the way.  Yet I never found schooling easy.  I was not one of the gifted students with a fabulous memory for detail – but I had perseverance. I studied long, not-easy hours. I was motivated to study.  My goals were worth it.

I was very fortunate to feel/sense my “calling” by both an internal desire and drive, and through a series of family health experiences that solidified my desire to become a Doctor.  I had vaguely considered becoming a professional tennis player but my coach in Edmonton had recommended my coaching continue in the States and there really was no way that my family at that time could afford such an expense. Plus, my practicality always reminded me that athletes often lost their entire careers from a single (yet significant) injury. I wanted a career for life.

Today I am working on creating a new academic course to share with the world sometime soon but as I learn new computer skills through a new course, I am enjoying my learning with a group of incredibly-talented and intelligent students in Healthcare, Engineering, Education and Sports backgrounds. Some have Master’s degrees, some have 2! All are working in academic institutions and seem incredibly computer-savvy! And I’m learning!  Interestingly, I do notice that the “wisdom” I bring to the table is really my honest, compassionate and mindful interactions.  And this feels great.

We all give each other feedback on our assignments and plans and today as I was reading over a classmate’s assignment (the plan for her course) – I noticed how wonderfully-supportive her whole plan was towards her (adult) student success at her University.  And then I came across a beautiful section on grading which was clearly put together to help students understand why they would receive either an A,B,C,D or F on their final grades.   And most of you know I love language!  I noticed in some of the descriptive words (for every grade after an A) there was potential for significantly changing the direction of student-thinking post-graduation from their undergraduate degrees.  I know some students (like myself) would be inspired to work harder to improve and receive more positive feedback (out of their own need for encouragement), and others may feel discouraged.  Language matters.  Words matter.

This made me realize that my fascination with words began long before reading an awesome book a few years ago called “Every Word has Power” by Yvonne Oswald which changed the way I guide my patients and clients.

It made me remember that I had as a pre-teen once asked my parents for a book I fell in love with at a local Coles bookstore – it was a Dictionary of Quotations!! I LOVED it and read every single quote in the book, putting a pencilled star beside my favourites for future reference! I still have that book in one of my many boxes of books in my garage! Before I moved to Ontario a family friend gifted me the book called “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran. I had never heard of it but I absolutely loved it! And over the last few years I have read hundreds of books (some of the same many times) and the words of anything I re-read certainly moves me and sticks with me.

When today I read my classmate’s grading comments planned for students I remembered that the most common and frequent comment I received on my report cards was “Conscientious Student.” I remember thinking “I think that’s good…”  I’d ask my Mom and she’d say it was but the word always stuck in my mind as a bit of a mystery even though I looked it up several times since my childhood.  As an adult, I now know that these comments (typed codes usually) were just the most fitting out of the comments available. Throughout grade school however, I would have loved understanding that this meant “(of a person) wishing to do what is right, especially to do one’s work or duty well and thoroughly” or “relating to a person’s conscience.” As a kid I was very self-conscious so in my mind I had always thought that’s what my teachers were noticing in me!

It wasn’t until my Junior High School experience that I truly began to gain confidence in myself as a student.  Here I had loads of direct feedback from teachers and a new drive and motivation in my learning too.  Maybe it’s good that I didn’t know the meaning of the report card notes earlier – maybe my Ego would have emerged sooner?! And maybe I would be exactly where I am today, smiling appreciatively for things being exactly as they should be.

From my experiences I can see that words are such an important part of my lifelong awareness. And now I guide people how to use their words lovingly, compassionately and kindly with the people in their personal and professional lives.  To empower, to heal, to help, to share authentically.  What a beautiful journey!

Please know that your words matter too.  When people can put their feelings into words, empowered action can arise.  I hope you will lift yourself and the people around you with the honest words that you share, the sincerity of your expression, and then watch the creation of your own magic in your life.

I am here to help if you need me. Until then, I wish you all the loving words you need to hear from yourself! Create your own magic!

“The key to pursuing excellence is to embrace an organic, long-term learning process, and not to live in a shell of static, safe mediocrity. Usually, growth comes at the expense of previous comfort or safety.”
— Josh Waitzkin





Conscious evolution

What is Consciousness? According to Wikipedia (and directly quoted here)”

Consciousness is the state or quality of sentience or awareness of internal or external existence.[1][2] It has been defined variously in terms of qualiasubjectivity, the ability to experience or to feelwakefulness, having a sense of selfhood or soul, the claim that “there is something that it is like” to ‘have’ or ‘be’ it, and the executive control system of the mind.[3] Despite the difficulty in definition, many philosophers believe that there is a broadly shared underlying intuition about what consciousness is.[4] According to Max Velmans and Susan Schneider, “Anything that we are aware of at a given moment forms part of our consciousness, making conscious experience at once the most familiar and most mysterious aspect of our lives.”[5]

Western philosophers since the time of Descartes and Locke have struggled to comprehend the nature of consciousness and how it fits into a larger picture of the world. These issues remain central to both continental and analytic philosophy, in phenomenology and the philosophy of mind, respectively. Some basic questions include: whether consciousness is the same kind of thing as matter; whether it may ever be possible for computing machines like computers or robots to be conscious; how consciousness relates to language; how consciousness as Being relates to the world of experience; the role of the self in experience; whether individual thought is possible at all; and whether the concept is fundamentally coherent.

Recently, consciousness has also become a significant topic of interdisciplinary research in cognitive science, involving fields such as psychologylinguistics, anthropology,[6] neuropsychology and neuroscience. The primary focus is on understanding what it means biologically and psychologically for information to be present in consciousness—that is, on determining the neural and psychological correlates of consciousness. The majority of experimental studies assess consciousness in humans by asking subjects for a verbal report of their experiences (e.g., “tell me if you notice anything when I do this”). Issues of interest include phenomena such as subliminal perceptionblindsightdenial of impairment, and altered states of consciousness produced by alcohol and other drugs, or spiritual or meditative techniques.

What I find even more interesting is understanding the Collective Unconscious thoughts, words and actions that many of us can take in as “normal” and acceptable. And many go with this flow without giving much thought to it. As I become more and more mindfully-aware, I find myself thinking and meditating on this more regularly. Why are people drawn to difficult/unhappy thoughts, words and behaviours so easily? Like the news, fear-provoking movies (I hear the Joker movie opened to a record audience for October); dark concepts and dark themes are becoming more prevalent in our T.V. programming (I heard on the radio as I haven’t watched T.V. for years). Many peoples’ workdays have become longer, busier and less joy-filled; our spare time is limited and often filled with long to-do lists. And many people fill a weekend with running errands not possible to finish on weekdays, and then start the cycle all over again on Monday! Some call it the “rat race” – I believe this is the Collective Unconscious. We worry more, celebrate less; and the Collective Ego is loving every bit of this drama.

So what if we say no to drama? Stop thinking about it, watching it like a deer in the headlights, talking about all that we are unhappy about and start living the joyful life that is coexisting right along with all of the not-easy experiences within us and around us? I am a strong believer in sharing the not-easy experiences to understand the messages from them and learn from them, but let’s not forget the good too – and there’s always something good… we are breathing, many of us are living a life that many others can only dream of. If you are a person who can enjoy a sunrise/sunset, the smell of apple pie, the comfort of a good night’s sleep, fresh air, a beautiful song, laughing with a dear friend… you are someone who knows how to enjoy the important things. So let’s take a breath, assess the good and the not-so good, shake off the not-so-good after expressing it like dust off a shirt found in the attic (it will not help you to keep that dust!), and truly focus on the gift of life. Right here. Right now. Lots to be grateful for.

It came to mind today that one of the first articles I ever wrote after I graduated was about “Hurry Sickness” in our society. Things haven’t changed much. I can even see how I was outside of this “game” when I first moved to Toronto, then became very much part of the same sickness, and now I am happily recovering from that unconscious space. Wait a minute… it’s been longer… meditative reflection reminded me that I did start University at a very early age in Alberta, and before that I was a driven “show-and-tell” presenter in grade schooling days in Ontario!!! Lots of retraining has certainly been happening NOW!! Amazing that I had comfortably forgotten how young I was when I began such a pattern! We need space and time to recognize that we can each fall into these patterns. Only Consciously removing ourselves from this repetitive cycle (at least mentally) – can help us see with clarity how easy it is to follow the masses (while still feeling a step ahead!).

Mindful practices and Meditation have truly helped me be Present to what I care most about. Compassion, Integrity and Honest Communication. Ahh… and that’s my communication for today 🙂

Wishing you a Conscious week ahead!